The Helper

I recently took a gifting test and discovered that I have a gifting in "helps". This gifting is described as assisting others by freeing them up to do what they need to do. Typically someone with this gifting can see when someone needs help before the person in need sees it. One website calls my Myers-Briggs personality "The Caregiver" and "The Nurturer" (ISFJ/ESFJ). I find so much fulfillment in helping others. I don't necessarily have a service gifting, I am not the first person to get a job done. But if I see someone in need I would jump up at the opportunity to help.

One of the most important days of my life was October 6th, 2010 - the home birth of Henri Cooper (my dear friends Sarah and Stephen's little boy). Since that day my life was never the same. One of these days I will put into words that experience and the shift it created in my life, but it is still a moment that I am trying to process. I have participated in two other births since then, March 2011 and March 2012. I was the role of a doula. Doula is Greek for "female slave". It is someone that walks alongside a mother in labor, like a birth partner. It is a long and laborious process (and I am not even the mother) and yet one of the most rewarding things to go through. I've found that to be true about all things I do...the most rewarding tend to be the most trying. I absolutely love walking alongside women in labor.

Sweet, new baby - March 2011

Timing contractions - March 2012

This last week I had the amazing opportunity to go with my coworker and close friend, Autumn, to Ethiopia to pick up her son Mihretu, after 15 months waiting for him. It is interesting that the process of adoption is similar in many ways to pregnancy, especially in the 3rd trimester. Waiting for Embassy clearance is like waiting to go into labor. When you pass that due date it just gets so hard to wait any longer. I remember Autumn saying, "I am ready to induce" ;). In this adoption I functioned as a doula, on call, ready to walk alongside a new mother.

The email came from the Embassy Tuesday, October 23rd and we were on a plane to Ethiopia on Friday, October 26th, just three days later. The four days we spent in Africa with Mihretu were incredibly special. Autumn got to take part in so many firsts with her new son. It was magical and I feel so honored to have witnessed such a miracle. This little boy whom I met twice in the last year, that I prayed for every day for 15 months was now in his mom's arms. It was like witnessing a birth. It was holy and precious. And let me tell you, Mihretu is amazing! That boy is so smart, brave, funny, and he knows who is mother is. I really love him.

We also got to see couples meeting their babies for the first time at the care center. It was intimate, like being in the ultrasound room as the parents hear the heartbeat for the first time or discover the gender of their child. One dad that joined us with their little girl at Embassy was sharing his heart for their children. He said, "All my children, both biological and adopted, are gifts from God. God has entrusted us to raise these children. My biological children are no more mine as are my adopted children. I love them all the same." What a beautiful picture! Adoption is a glimpse into the heart of God, that God chooses us to be sons and daughters. Michael and I definitely want to adopt - after working in orphan care, I can't imagine not choosing adoption.

(Side note: Today is Orphan Sunday. If you haven't experienced what it feels like to have a heart for the orphan, I highly suggest going on a short-term trip. It will change your life forever. Consider what sponsoring, fostering or adopting might look like in your life. Yes that was a plug for Visiting Orphans ;)

Then it was time for the flight home or to continue the analogy, active labor. I was helping Autumn here and there in-country but she really was doing great with the transition. She could still 'walk through the contractions'. But boy, 40 hours of travel is another story. One of the hardest things I have ever done. Confine a toddler to a seat for three flights, one of them lasting 11 hours. Now add the fact that this child does not speak your language, barely knows you, has hardly left his care center, experiencing so many new things, time change, jet lag, and pure exhaustion. This was the final stage of the adoption pregnancy. This is when Autumn needed me the most. And at one point I didn't think we would make it...but we did. We landed in Nashville and Autumn and I lost it, emotionally and physically we were done. We did it! He is now home. Such an emotional moment.

Although there were a few trying moments, Mihretu did great!

He is perfect :)

And now Autumn is starting the path of parenthood as all parents do after birth. I am so incredibly proud of her. When she saw her little boy the 'mom switch' turned on. She is a natural and I just loved watching her care for Mihretu with such patience, love and grace. It really was inspiring. Waiting for court, paperwork, Embassy, the ups and downs, all prepped her for this new season. God gives parents 9 months (and a lot more for adoption) to prepare. It is a long and hard journey leading up to coming home and that is just the beginning. But it is in our weakness that God is made strong. I don't know if we are ever really ready for parenthood but I think this is part of entrusting our children to God, to lean in for direction, strength, grace and peace. It is a partnership with God. And I absolutely love watching and sitting at moms' and dads' feet as they "figure it out" one day at a time.

Michael and I hope to step into this season of our lives in the next year or so. Whether through birth or adoption, I am grateful to have experienced that intimate moment of transition when a family is formed. I am so excited to experience that moment for myself and to share that with my husband. But until then I plan to continue to walk alongside others in this special time of their life.

Welcome home dear Mihretu. You are one loved little boy!

Goodbye summer

I promised myself when I started this blog that I would not let myself feel guilty if I didn't post all the time. Well, it has been almost 2 months... so I thought I would summarize what all I have been up to these last few summer months. 

My summer started with a bang! I led a team of 15 to Uganda and Ethiopia in May through Visiting Orphans. I love all the women on the team and I discovered that though I am young God can use me to lead others. I learned so much about strange things that interest me, like essential oils and non-traditional healing methods. It is amazing how a missions trip can bring you so close to strangers so quickly. It really was a special team. 

I got to meet the most precious, incredible couple - Papa Isaac and Mama Rebecca. I can't wait to go back to Uganda in December to see them again! They have a sign on their property that says "You are most welcome". This really stuck with me on this trip. Everyone I encountered was so hospitable and selfless. When they say 'make yourself at home', they mean it. Eat their food, sit and relax, don't worry about a thing. It made me think about the way we host people in America. We say make yourself at home but many times it means 'don't go in that room', 'sorry I didn't clean', 'you can do this but don't do that'. It is hospitality with strings attached. I want people to feel at home when they walk into my house. I don't want to apologize if I didn't dust. I want to share my stash of yummy chai. I want to say 'you are most welcome' and mean it. I love Africans!

I spent a lot of time with sweet Sarah. She wants to be a nurse when she grows up and we were both happy to have a new friend. 

Then I got to see my favorite ladies in Addis! 

It is such a treat to see them. My first trip to Ethiopia in January I met these 6 women who work in the kitchen at a ministry we partner with. You can read about my first experience meeting them here. 

 I came home from Africa, which was the longest Michael and I have ever spent apart, and we went to Chicago to celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary!

I loved this city, especially with this guy. 

We had so much fun exploring the city and eating all the yummy food. 

 We then decided to get chickens! You can read all about the chicken adventures on my previous posts: here and here.

 

We got them at 3 days old. They were so cute! Sweet Jean, Matilda, Faye and Doris. 

Time to build a chicken coop!

Here is Jean around the time they moved outside. 

 Many people have asked me how the chickens are doing. Well, they are 3 months old and should be laying eggs in the next month. They no longer chirp and are starting to develop an adorable cluck. I could watch them for hours. Look how big they are!?! They also make a convenient disposal for all my garden scraps. They love cabbage and rotten tomatoes!

In March we decided to make a garden. This summer has been full of learning what to do and what not to do. July was a wash because it was so hot. I never wanted to be outside to weed and a lot of our veggies fried in the heat. 

What worked:

-Green beans were the best by far. I grew these from seeds and they did amazing!

-All of our herbs. We made our money back in herbs. It was so nice to go to garden when I needed something for dinner. We have an endless supply of basil, rosemary, and parsley. 

-The bell peppers were great as well!

-Not sure yet because they aren't ready, but we have a whole bed of sweet potatoes that should be ready in the fall. Super excited about those. 

What didn't work:

-Anything leafy. First, I didn't realize leafy veggies like lettuce, spinach, cabbage and arugula are all fall vegetables, so they ended up really bitter. We also didn't want to use pesticides so all the leaves had holes from hungry bugs. 

-Carrots, this belongs in the sort of category. They were seeded way to close together so the carrots that had more room actually grew to the right size but most of them were so clustered together that they didn't grow at all. 

-Radishes grew so fast and were easy from seeds but they bolted and the radish never grew that big. 

-The tomatoes were doing awesome but the day that they changed from green to red it was like all the squirrels and bugs ate them. Super frustrating, but we made delicious fried green tomatoes instead. 

I am looking forward to digging up a few of the beds and starting a fall crop. 

For the 4th of July we decided to take an adventure to the Minister's Tree House. I love this place. Read all about it here.

The Visiting Orphans staff took a field trip to the zoo! These ladies are family to me. This last summer has been the hardest summer at work. But my co-workers are the best around and we all know how to support each other. Despite the stress of sending 30 teams around the world in the last 2 months, this summer solidified how much I absolutely love my job and the people I work with. I truly am blessed. 

 We also enjoyed a lovely, hot Saturday with the family at a Food Truck Festival. Michael and I are trying to cross off all the food trucks and restaurants in East Nashville on our list. So many great places to eat, so much yummy food!

In July Michael and I joined his family on a trip to Destin, Florida. It was awesome! I haven't been to the beach since 2009 and I loved the break. And my new obsession with the board game Carcassonne. I love strategy games. We play Carcassonne, or 'Crackers' as Michael calls it, just about every night. Throw in Monopoly Deal and Battleship and we are set.

 My twin sister got engaged at the end of July! Wahoo! Lots and lots and lots of wedding planning and dress finding and decor making. Words can not express how happy Michael and I are for Lauren and Evan. I am the Matron of Honor and Michael is the Best Man. They make the best friends around.

 I got to see my sweet friend Karlie at the East Nashville Tomato Festival. This was the best surprise ever. We went from sharing a room for 3 years to living in two different cities. I miss seeing her everyday but it is always a treat when we get to hang out. 

 I love her so much!

 Jonathan and Becca Moody moved back from France in July! We have spent many late nights hanging out with these two. It is such a nice thing to have a married couple that both people love. We could just sit and talk with them for hours! I am so happy they are back in Nashville. 

So this is goodbye to Summer. Michael started his last year of grad school and we are adjusting to the change in schedule.

But the next few months hold a lot of adventures too:
-We are going to NYC in 2 weeks. I can't wait to explore the city with Evan, Lauren and Michael.
-Michael and I both celebrate birthdays in September.
-Visiting Orphans has leader training in September where we will be training 50 leaders. I loved training last year and I am looking forward to connecting with these amazing people.
-And then my twin sister gets married September 29th!! Wahoo!!!!!!!
-Michael and I are also leading a Visiting Orphans team in December to Uganda and Kenya! This will be my first time back to Kenya since I was a child so this will be a huge deal. I also can't wait to meet this team, they all seem like awesome people and I know there will be many adventures ahead.

Until next time...

I Love Ethiopia!

I am finding it to be really difficult to put into words my experience in Africa. I still have not talked about Ethiopia at all! So here I go:

I think Ethiopia had such in impact on me because of the relationships I developed. We stayed in Addis Ababa the entire time so most of what we saw was dirty, brown, urban city. But I loved it! As one team member said, "It is like Lion King meets Aladdin" :) All of my African experiences have been in East Africa, in Kenya, Uganda and Rwanda. Although those countries do differ a little bit they are still very similar in landscape and culture. Ethiopia was nothing like that. It felt like being in the Middle East. 

We spent the majority of our team in Korah. Korah is a community that was originally a leper colony. It sits right next to a huge trash dump where many of the children and women make a living collecting trash. 

Because it is hard to put Korah into words, here are some blogs of past team members that went to Korah: Amanda, Elise, and Wynne. They do a better job than I do at describing their experience. 

This was a very special moment for the team: 

We broke into small groups and made house visits. This is Atenish. She lives in a one room house with her 3 children. Our team sat on a bench and her bed because that was all she had in her house. She invited us in for a traditional coffee ceremony. It was the best coffee I have ever had! She started with green beans that she roasted in front of us, then ground the beans and boiled it over a little stove top. She served it with a little sugar and some homemade popcorn. It was wonderful.

We spent time asking her questions about her life and family and she asked us questions. It was a very special and intimate time and we really got a taste of their culture. She will always have a special place in our hearts!

Here is our group with Atenish. The little girl in the blue sweater is her daughter, it was her birthday that day. 

On the second day we bough sheep to feed the kids. The children will only eat meat on special occasions and when teams like ours buy sheep. The experience that meant the most to me was spending the day in the back kitchen at Korah with the six cooks. I originally went back in the kitchen to get some water for a craft we were doing. They invited me to sit and drink some coffee so I did, thinking I would leave shortly after. Next thing you know I am cutting up the sheep that we bought the day before. My eyes were burning and watery from the heavy smoke but I decided I would get my hands dirty. I was stirring the stew, chopping meat, washing dishes and laughing a lot even though we could not say more than one word to each other. I learned how to say thank you in Amharic, that was about the only thing I could say to them :) But it was so special. And when it was time to leave we all cried. Normally teams come and see the kids but it is not everyday that they get people helping them in the kitchen.  The lady in the black dress next to me is named Lucy. She would say "thank you thank you thank you" and kiss my head. I love those women and I can't wait to go back and see them again.

This is what it is all about. 

Quilts for Missions

Michael and I are going to Rwanda and Ethiopia this December to love on sweet children! I have seen pictures of the orphanages we are going to and I am already in love with their precious faces!

My last post described a little of what we will be doing...

As many of you know, international travel IS NOT cheap. We need to raise $4,000!

I decided to put my craftiness to good use and sell some things I have made to raise money for the trip.

First thing I am posting are some baby quilts I made:
I am selling all 3 quilts for $100 each.

 Here is a close up of the fabric. The flowers are the back of the quilt

 I love the little creatures on this quilt. It is more of a whimsical, scrap fabric quilt

Let me know if you are interested in buying any of these quilts or if you had a custom quilt idea in mind. All the proceeds go directly to the trip! 

For those of you that simply want to donate, you can do so at:
https://www.visitingorphans.org/donations/donate.aspx
Select the "December Ethiopia/Rwanda" trip
And put Merrill Durham in the memo

Enjoy your weekend!